Believe it or not going through The Season of BROKE does have its advantages. We often hear the cliché “stop and smell the roses” in reality it sounds like a thing “to do” but life usually takes over and within a second we forget about it.
When I lost my job and entered into The Season of BROKE, I remember telling a friend what happened and it was her words that changed my life FOREVER. I always knew I was a good person but life was somehow getting out of control. I realized later that I took way too many things for granted, including my religion. What I learned was that I was comfortable in my religion. I will even go so far as to say I may have even used it as a crutch at times. I was given many “signs” that year to turn to God for help. I ignored every one of them. And so my friend pointed out “God stopped me dead in my tracks to give me a new life, a second chance to get it right…” and when that happened my life began to turn around. To clarify I was never addicted to drugs or alcohol and was usually ethically sound but lately I became so overwhelmed with work and the NEED to please everyone around me that I allowed my life to get "sloppy!" In reality I worked very hard to make sure everyone else was happy that I forgot to make myself happy!! In fact, I felt guilty when I felt happy!!
So when I entered The Season of BROKE I really started to NOTICE what mattered around me. I even started to notice real friendship. I realized that I was down but I was far from OUT, although many would have liked nothing more than to see me out! I will share more of that as the days go on.
It was Christmas after all and we had to eat! I remember my husband handing me a $100 bill to go to the grocery store. I never went to the store with CASH before and I really wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle “staying within a budget.” I searched the internet for the perfect holiday recipe. It was a little elaborate but we weren’t exchanging gifts this year so we decided an elaborate dinner would be just fine. The recipe called for brown long grain rice. I wrote it and all the other ingredients down on the shopping list. The store was packed with last minute shoppers. It was Christmas Eve and all those hard-working people who didn’t have time to “stop and smell the roses” were running in and out of the store for last minute groceries. I walked around the store with my head in a daze just praying that I would have enough money to check out.
And then it happened. I got to the RICE isle! What I thought was a simple task turned into one of the most emotional days of my entire life. Did you know there were that many varieties of RICE? I didn’t! I just stood there for what seemed like an eternity, looking at all the different RICE. Glancing over to the beans and all of their varieties may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back! What I realized was that I worked SO hard for SO long that I never even noticed there were that many different types of RICE and beans. I did what any recently unemployed person would do, cried like a baby, praying that no one would see me and praying harder that I wouldn’t run into someone I knew! I do live in a small town where I always run into someone I know!
I gathered my thoughts and emotions and moved onto the checkout, again praying that I would have enough money to pay. I looked over and saw a guy I knew at another register. He tried everything to get my attention, but I avoided him like the plague! I just couldn’t face the embarrassment if I didn’t have enough money. The numbers were in - $99.97 – that was the total. I scurried out of that store so fast. I could barely contain myself. No matter what I did I just could not avoid this man. He ran after me and hugged me to wish me Merry Christmas. The tears began instantly as I babbled on about the $100 and the RICE. Eventually we laughed. Thinking back I am not even sure he knew what I was talking about! I was so grateful that things turned out the way they did. It was at that very moment that I decided to write a book. I felt it would help me get the closure I needed to put this behind me and may help other people who were so wrapped up in their jobs that they too never realized all the varieties of RICE!! I faced many stumbling blocks over the past three years however. Blocks which were deliberately place in my path that I would never have expected. I thought better of writing the book until I had more closure. Yesterday I faced one of my accusers, unexpectedly and today I feel like I can begin my best seller! lol
Until tomorrow…
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