You can't make this stuff up!!

Last “dis” on this bank I promise, at least for a while.  I swear I can’t make this stuff up!!!!

Since I have a direct selling business I get quite a few checks written to me.  Usually it’s not a big deal, but when I am trying to close out the end of the month, I sometimes have to get a bit creative!  After all, I am an over-achiever and strive to WIN/EARN every contest that is dangled in front of me! 

I asked the bank “guru” what the policy was for depositing checks – is there a hold on them?  “The funds will be available the next day in most cases,” she replied.  That was promising!  What I discovered was bankers have their OWN language!  What they say and what they mean are two different things!!  Local checks clear the next day UNLESS one of your checks comes in against it on that overnight shift THEN they charge a $5 per check uncollected fee.  When you find yourself in THE SEASON OF BROKE, $5 per check can be HUGE!  That’s not all!!  IF the checks were deposited on Friday after 2, then they don’t get credited to my account until Tuesday morning – SILLY ME!!!  Of course THAT was the policy!  Any moron would know that, right?!

Oh it gets even better…I do a few odd jobs here and there and get paid with company checks.  IF the check is hand-written however and it is not CLEAR to the teller that it is a paycheck, there can be up to a 5 DAY HOLD on that check!  Who knew it was my DUTY to tell the teller that it was a paycheck and not just some business rewarding me for being pretty!

There’s even more!!  With all these fees and fines, I really found myself scraping to GET IT TOGETHER.  I decided to cash in some of the quarters I was saving for a rainy day.  Let’s face it, casinos don’t take quarters any more anyway – just sayin’ –and during THE SEASON OF BROKE there are few trips if any to the casino these days anyway (even though it’s a great stress-reliever!!) in my opinion.

Who knew that I would ask THE IMPOSSIBLE?  Coin wrappers?  Do you have any I asked?  The deer in the headlight look was staring back at me.  I stared back and said, “You know, the things you wrap up change in?”  Thankfully for her I had my sunglasses on because what she would have seen was a combination of rage and hysterical laughter – ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  Is the only thing that I could say but didn’t, so I held it in even though it was killing me.  OH she said, you have to buy those at WalMart!!  REALLY???  If I am asking to cash in coins, you senseless, heartless, bank employee, do you think, even for one second, that I could or even would afford to buy them at WalMart?  BUT I kept my cool and my silence.  That seemed to not only make her nervous but it also brought back her memory!!  She suddenly “remembered” that they did indeed have coin wrappers there if she would just sashay herself from the drive-in window and go look!

Needless to say she gave me what I wanted in the end.  And that my friends is what prompted me to begin this BLOG.  I kid you not.  It’s all true.  And to think that these are the same institutions that our wonderful government felt it necessary to bail out.  The solution seems much simpler than that to me.  Fire all those nimrods at the banks and give the jobs to the smart, common sense folks who know that the heck IS going on in this world!  Stop relying on computers and start putting the HEART back in customer service.  Take the iPods and Smart Phones out of your ears – open up your eyes and take notice of the community around you.  There are so many who are in THE SEASON OF BROKE and just a little compassion can go a long way.  Just think how much better off we all would be!!

PS – the NUITA (nose up in the air types) need not come back to this BLOG because now you are probably even more clueless than those bank tellers!!